she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
