He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
