How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
