: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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