glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
