i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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