margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
