i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize