so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
whose parrot is this?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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