Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
