Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
