we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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