Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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