You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
