Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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