A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
