gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
