Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
