The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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