What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
