and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
