she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
