I can tuck mytits in my pants
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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