I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
