When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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