drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
