Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Randomize
