Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
