Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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