I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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