You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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