why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
