This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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