At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
