I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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