i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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