I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
