you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
