when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize