Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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