and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
