Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
