i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
