i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
