I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
