hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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