just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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