You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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