:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
