I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
